Please be advised that this blog post may discuss topics related to suicidal ideation. If you feel that the content may affect your well-being, please proceed with caution. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, it's important to seek help immediately.
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While considering the topic for this post, I realized that February is a month dedicated to love. So, I thought I would write about love. However, this is not the typical fairy-tale love story you might expect.
This blog post was a challenge to write, requiring a great deal of vulnerability. In this post, I'll share my experience with Kamal and the complexities of my family situation.
Kamal and I desire to get married next year, and I am hopeful that this will come to fruition. However, I must have a difficult conversation with my parents regarding our desire to get married before my older sister, who is not currently in a relationship. In Sri Lankan Hindu culture, it is customary for the sister to marry first before the brothers, but my sister is older than me. To further complicate things, Kamal and I are planning to have a Christian wedding, and she is older than me. These factors only add to the complexity and challenge of the situation.
I haven't shared this widely and this blog post is a first for me, but I decided to step out of my comfort zone. To prepare for a challenging conversation with my parents, I've been seeking counselling.
"Where do I start? My emotions have been complex and multifaceted throughout this journey. I feel overwhelmed, nervous, anxious, and scared. I don't know what to expect, and I fear the worst: that my parents will disown me or kick me out. I hope it doesn't come to that, but I can't be sure."
As a person who tends to consider worst-case scenarios, I know my outlook may not always be optimistic. However, I don't want to fall into a state of suicidal thoughts, like I did when I tried to share my faith with my mother. That was a difficult period for me. I understand that it is my responsibility to have this conversation and that I don’t have control over the outcome.
I take comfort in the words of Joshua 1:9, where God instructs us to be strong and courageous, and not to fear or be discouraged, as the Lord will be with us wherever we go.
"As I mentioned in my previous blog post, God remains unchanging and constant even in difficult circumstances. Hebrews 13:8 reminds us that 'Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.'"
If you haven't already, I highly recommend checking out my last blog post (just a subtle plug, of course)."
People often ask when Kamal and I are getting married, and I usually reply that we're not ready. However, there are other factors that people don't know about, which adds pressure and constantly reminds us of our painful family situation. This can be hurtful and saddening.
I challenge you to show compassion for couples who are not yet married. If they could, they would have tied the knot already. So, next time you encounter such a couple, take a moment to consider the reasons behind their delay in getting married.
Kindly offer your prayers for our situation. Pray for…
Wisdom as I talk to my parents, that God may give me the right words to say.
Preparation of my parents' hearts.
Kamal and my relationship to flourish during these trying times.
The preparation of my own heart in response to my parents.
Everything to unfold according to God's will and for His glory and honour.
Guidance on when the right time is to have this conversation.
Boldness and courage as I face this challenge.